Motivation: Ugh.

When they say running is 90% mental, they’re not lying. And the hardest part is convincing myself to get out the door.

The weather has finally started to cooperate, so I can no longer rely on “it’s too cold!” for my hermit-like behavior. Last week I ran two days (just two!) and for no reason other than the couch seemed more pleasant than the pavement. I think my past running experience may have also played a part. Somehow, my two years on the cross country team in high school (junior varsity) and the 10-mile race I ran in November (back of the pack) have convinced me to believe I could skip several days of the TNT training schedule.

But no more. Now that we’re approaching the 10-mile mark, I’ve realized that I have got to be more consistent in my training – especially if I want to accomplish my goal of completing the marathon without walking. So I dragged myself outside on Tuesday for an incredibly rough 3-mile run. Seriously, one of the worst 3 miles of my life. I’m sure I looked like an old lady shuffling along rather than a vibrant 24-year-old.

So I REALLY wasn’t looking forward to Wednesday’s 6-mile run. I put it off all day until 4:30 when I decided that it was either now or never.

And it was like night and day.

My legs felt strong and powerful as they carried me throughout my small town. The neighborhoods seemed to fly by as one mile quickly turned into two, and two into three. I was disappointed I had to stop to drop Cooper (our family dog) off after 4 miles, and worried that I wouldn’t be able to maintain that same rhythm. But my legs picked up right where they left off. I felt so good, I even managed to “race” a little kid I came upon while walking with his dad. It was a great feeling, and one I hope to experience more often as I continue to train.

But I’m already dreading today’s 4 miles. You’d think I’d have more confidence after yesterday’s run, but alas… If only I shared Thornton Thompson’s feelings about running. This passage was taken from his inspired and beautifully-written blog at thorntonpondcrossing.blogspot.com:

I love to run, but telling people why is the problem. How do you describe the appeal of such a masochistic activity? It is 5-6 miles of discomfort, in weather that is often barely bearable, and completely without any sort of redeeming teleology. My body aches and my lungs burn. 20 years from now, I probably won't be able to walk because my knees will be completely broken.

It is truly an addiction, with all the accompanying side effects, including withdrawal. Three or four days without a run and I get anxious and irritable, hyperactive but lazy. Is it worth it?

...

Have you ever felt elevated above the mundanity of normal-ness? Where excitement, adventure, happiness, all the possibilities of life seem not just accessible but easily so?

When I run, those feelings swell within me like a song's gradual crescendo. Each step I take is another instrument joining the verse; I can feel chorus lifting me, and I soar, miles above the pavement with Adidas wings.

It's a song without words, rhythm, tempo, or melody, but I can hear it nonetheless. It emanates from everything, as if God himself was urging me onward. The little stresses and anxieties of the day become ethereal; ghosts without any power to worry me. But this isn't anesthesia; while my sorrows fade, the joys become brighter and more coherent. The music reminds me how funny that joke was, and how that girl's smile draws my eyes from across hallways.

Though I run towards nowhere in particular, I approach something. The air shimmers, parts, and through it the music shows me past, present, and future happiness. I see all my triumphs and my delights coalesce and join the music, become the music.

I am laughing aloud with jubilation and exhalation and I see the music spreading to everything my eyes touch. I run faster. I thank the music and it your-welcomes me with slight modulations in its toneless tone.

I lied before. My lungs don't burn, they hum with power, an electric generator in my chest. My knees don't hurt. How could they, when I'm running through air? The smiles I get are from the people who hear, just for a second, their own music through me.

...

The sun goes back behind the clouds (did it ever really emerge?). The air becomes opaque again (?)

I am drenched in sweat, chilled to the bone, with knees that will not survive the next 20 years.

But the music, though slowed and steadied, pulses lightly. In the wind I hear its non-existent melody, and in my friend's laugh I feel it's beat-less rhythm. "Come find me," it says- song without words-. "I'll be waiting."

If only…

Letters!

I have FINALLY sent out my fundraising letters today - about time! I went through so many versions trying to find the right words, but I think I'm happy with my final draft. I hope the recipients are too :) I must give a shout-out to Miss Susan Fleming for her great ideas of printing the letters on neon-colored paper and sending them in cute, polka-dot envelopes - they'll definitely catch some people's attention!

And an update on Sonic: they have offered to give me 10% of their sales on my fundraising days - 10%! That's amazing! I was sure the percentage would be closer to 5, so it was quite a pleasant surprise to learn they'd donate so much. I just have to decide on a day, and we'll be in business!

Fundraising Possibility

I have a meeting on Friday with a manager at a local Sonic Drive-In to discuss fundraising opportunities! Sonic supports several community-giving programs, both locally and nationally. If you'd like to learn about their programs, click here:

http://www.sonicdrivein.com/business/giving/index.jsp

For my event, Sonic will allow me to take home a percentage of a certain day's net sales - we just have to negotiate which day and what percentage. I'm very excited to possibly partner with Sonic for my first fundraising event, I think it could be a hit!

I'll post details about the event Friday afternoon.

My First Donation

I officially received my first donation Saturday night! And from the most unlikely of sources...

After work Saturday evening, I headed over to Carlos O’ Kelly's to meet my family for an early dinner. I got there much earlier than they did, but was immediately seated in a booth way in the back. To my surprise, my waiter, Brandon, sat right down to say hello and we soon struck up a (somewhat) random conversation that eventually turned to what degree Brandon is pursuing. He said that he’s studying biology with the intention of going into genetics to cure cancer – or “create a virus to destroy the human race,” if he’s feeling particularly diabolical.

I saw his career choice as an opportunity to work my fundraising spiel, and told him that if he was into curing cancer, then he should donate to my cause!

His response was less than encouraging: “So you’re one of those people?”

Well after that, I thought my chances were over until the end of the meal when my family and I were getting up to leave. He told me to wait, then handed me $10 from his server book! I was shocked – I couldn’t believe he was willing to sacrifice a portion of his income for the night to help a total stranger.

Was it my charm, my stunningly good looks, my amazing presentation of my cause?

Unlikely.

But no matter the reason, his donation was greatly appreciated and very encouraging. I can only hope that others are as generous as I continue to fundraise.

In training news, it’s freakin’ cold! It’s currently 27 degrees and I’m cowering indoors under two blankets and a heating pad. I haven’t ventured out to run for three days, and without a membership to a gym, this weather is really putting a cramp in my training schedule. I’m determined to run today, but I’m not gonna like it…

Up and Running!

Hello, blogosphere!

After days of putting "create blog" on my to-do list, I'm finally getting around to joining the millions of other bloggers on the web, and I'm excited to tell you why. It is my idea that "Mills Runs Miles" will serve to chronicle an exciting and challenging adventure: running a marathon. That's right, a marathon!

To best complete my goal, I've joined the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training program. TNT is the world's first and largest charity sports training program that exists to find a cure for blood cancers such as leukemia, lymphoma, and myeloma and to improve the quality of life of patients and their families. The opportunity to contribute to a great cause while accomplishing such a huge life goal was too tempting to resist, and so I've been a member of TNT's Kansas chapter since early February.

Each participant pledges to raise a certain amount of money during the 4 or 5 months they train for their event in exchange for training, travel costs, and hotel stays. The $3,600 I've pledged to raise for Seattle's Rock 'N' Roll Marathon on June 26, 2010 seems more daunting than running 26.2 miles, but I am excited for the challenge!

If you would like to donate to my cause, please visit my fundraising website at:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ks/rnrseatl10/mmillswy2z

And check back often for updates on my training and fundraising progress - I'll make sure to keep you posted!